The Waffle Iron of Doom
by Bakatrev
Summary: I recently rewatched all of Invader Zim, so many childhood memories, and I suddenly got an uncontrollable urge to write some fanfiction. Zim learns of a new Waffle Iron and Immediately comes up with an ingenious plan to conquer the world. Only to find out things cost money.


Author's note: I do not own Invader Zim. It's not much at the moment. I have some stuff planned for it so if you want more, just ask.

Thank you and Enjoy

Zim was sitting at the light teal table in his kitchen. The front headline of the Earth paper had captured his attention this morning more so than it usually had.

"Hehe," He chuckled, "Silly Earth Monkeys and their inferior skeletons, not being able to withstand the impact of one of their simple trains,"

Zim stopped reading the article titled, "Skool Bus at Maximum Capacity hit by on coming high speed train, no survivors" and jumped on top of the table to proclaim his greatness.

"Unlike these filthy dirt children, my superior Irken skeleton can survive the impact of a hundred of their puny trains! Hahahahah!"

Zim broke into one of his famous fits of evil laughter just as Gir set a stack of waffles on the table. The little robot shouted "I MADE WAFFLES!" as loud as his artificial speech chip would let him.

This startled Zim to such a degree that he lost his balance. He fell backwards into the trash can.

Zim pulled his head out of the bin and looked at the robot cloaked in it's green dog suite, the suites large white lifeless eyes staring at him.

"GIR! DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!" Zim scolded the robot, "Oh hey look waffles,"

Zim pulled the rest of his body out of the trashcan and brushed himself off. When he realigned his hair piece, a large yellow box that had miraculously balanced itself on the aliens head, fell off.

"Hmm" Zim hummed taking interest in one of the bright colorful advertisements on the back of the box. He picked up the box and read it allowed.

"Are you tired of your ordinary waffle maker? Can't make more than one waffle at a time?" He paused to look at the massive stack of hot waffles, "Gir! How many waffles can you make at a time with our current waffle machine?"

"Ohhh," the robot awed and looked up at the stack of waffles, "Let me think. Eight, nine, twenty, forty two," Gir recited a few more numbers before concluding, "Only one!"

"Only one eh?" Zim confirmed.

Gir nodded.

"Hmm," Zim hummed again, "This Earth advertisement seems to know our current limitations. How ingenious, yet so foolish of the humans!"

He stopped mocking the humans and devoted his attention back to the advertisement

"Solve all your problems with the new and improved mega iron 3000, cook not one, not two, but six waffles at once."

Zim involuntarily opened his eye in amazement.

"SIX WAFFLES!" He exclaimed before reading on, but this time in a slightly more enthralled tone, "Pick yours up at a take n' bake near you. Warning, product may produce a massive explosion capable of destroying all life on Earth " As soon as he finished, Zim jumped back on the table.

"GIR! Do you know what this means!"

"Your going to purchase the mega iron 3000 and use it's defect to destroy all life on Earth," The robot answered nonchalantly.

Zim paused for a minute in order to comprehend what the robot had just said. He sighed, "No Gir. God, sometimes I wonder if you are as advanced as the Almighty Tallest said you were. What we are going to do Gir, is go and buy this new waffle," He turned his head to and fro as if he was expecting to see the word he was looking for inscribed on a nearby wall, "thing, and open a waffle vending place. Those filthy dirt humans won't be able to resist the delicious powers of our buttered waffles."

Zim quickly scooped up Gir and looked into his eyes to engrain his evil plan into the robot's data banks, "They will keep eating and eating our savory buttered grains, until their inferior stomachs can no longer take it, and explode!, HAHAHAHA!" Zim put Gir down and he resumed his normal attitude, "Do you get it now Gir?"

For several seconds the robot was silent. Then Gir screeched, "LET'S MAKE SOME WAFFLES!"

"That's a good Gir," Zim praised the tiny robot. The invader jumped off the table and threw his hand above his head.

"MINIMOOSE!" Zim called for the tiny flying moose.

Hardly anytime passed before a tiny robotic moose came flying out of the toilet, that served as the entrance to Zim's evil base, and hovered towards its master.

"Meep!" Minimoose squeaked.

"Ah good you're here," Zim said as he lowered his arm, "We're going shopping today."


End file.
